Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
