I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
