stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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