How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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