He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
