i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
