I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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