I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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