I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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