do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
pray to the hookup gods
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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