Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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