wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
