did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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