I just gift wrapped bread.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
