Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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