One girl and one boy is just not enough.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
