If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You pole danced in your parka.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
