i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
