Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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