I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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