STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
