I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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