If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
