I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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