don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
This is classic penis vs brain.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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