Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer

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(954): View more from Florida

Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer

(1-954): View more from Florida

That Cesar Milan is captivating

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(585): View more from New York

i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.

(406): View more from Montana

YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.

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