It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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