I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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