Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
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Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
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how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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