Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
