Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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