No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
