Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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