Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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