Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
