He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
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just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
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I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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