it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
