She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
