If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
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