GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
