i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
