Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize