So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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