Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
