He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize