I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
