He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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