the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
