What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
