Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
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I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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