I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
