You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
