'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
