Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
