I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
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I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
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Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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