There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
