my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
