yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it was like eating out sand paper
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
