god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The ass gains better be worth it
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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